INT. DINING ROOM
DER VATER - KEVIN DIE MUTTER - PAUL NARRATOR - NIKKI PHILIPP - JAMES THE FAMILY SITS AT THE TABLE. IT IS SET FOR THE EVENING MEAL. THEY BEGIN TO EAT. NARRATOR Die Familie ist wie ein Norman Rockwell Gemälde. PHILIPP, BEING A YOUNG BOY, BEGINS TO FIDGET. VATER Philipp! Benimm dich! PHILIPP Aber Vater! Ich bin zu Tode gelangweilt! MUTTER Hören sein Vater Philipp. Du müsst still sitzen. PHILIPP REMAINS STILL AND THE MEAL CONTINUES. BUT, PHILIPP BEGINS TO FIDGET AGAIN. VATER Philipp! Ich warne dich! BUT PHILIPP DOES NOT LISTEN. HE LEANS THE CHAIR BACK ON TWO LEGS AND ROCKS. VATER (CONT’D) Nicht Gutes wird dieses Zappeln kommen. NARRATOR Oh nein! Was wird passieren, Philipp? PHILIPP CONTINUES TO ROCK BACK AND FORTH AS HE CLUTCHES THE TABLE. FADE TO BLACK. CRASH! MUTTER SCREAMS! FADE IN: PHILIPP IS ON HIS BACK ON THE FLOOR, THE TABLECLOTH ON HIM AND THE DISHES SCATTERED. VATER Ich sagte dich, Junge! Jetzt ist mein Essen ist auf dem Boden! NARRATOR Die Lehre dieser Geschichte ist immer auf deine Eltern hören und nicht am Tisch zappeln. (Here is the video on YouTube turn up the sound. It was filmed, narrated, and edited by me on my 5 year old Kodak M1023 digital camera.)
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Ein kleiner Junge, Jakob, saß in der Badewanne unter den offenen Fenster und rauch Zigarette. Sein Mutter barst in die Tür und er zankte „Wenn du rauch, wirst du es bereuen!“ Sie entriss die Zigarette und blutete. Sie riss Jakob aus dem Badezimmer von seine Arm. Die Mutter verfing er mehrmals. Jedes Mal nahm Sie die Zigarette ein und es blutete.
Eines Tages, als die Mutter weg von dem Haus war, zündete eine Ziagarette an und warf das Steichholz in die Toilette. Er erreichte für der Griff, und ein Hand schoss aus der Toilette! Es fasste ihn riss Jakob zu der Toilette. Er kämpfte und kämpfte. Die brennen Zigarette fiel auf den Teppich und es began zu brennen! Einen kleinen Flamme wuchs zu einer großen Flamme. Es setzte Jakobs Hose auf Feuer! Jakob heulte. Der eine Hand wurde zwei und fasste Jakob. Die Hand riss Jakob halb in die Toilette, so nur seiner unteren Leib brannte. Jakob brannte lichterloh und er ertrank! Seiner Mutter brachte Jakob tot in den Toilette auf. Sie setzte ihr Hüfte und tränenreich sagt, „Ich warnt du meine Sohn!“ (Yes, this is all in German. I have taken 3 semesters as a requirement for my B.A. I thoroughly enjoyed it and this is a morality tale that we had to write for Intermediate German 1.) This critic has heard much about the Grimm brothers Red Riding Hood, why it hasn't been touched by Hollywood is beyond me. You usually have the candy coated Red is the heroine version. Finally, we see the real and rough cut, or the director's cut if you will, as they intended all that time ago. We have the wolf on stage running to Grandma's to beat Red. He does and the SFX are quite gruesome, the screams are so real. This crew has done their homework and it makes you wonder how they did it. I see no sort of trickery.
The costuming is also quite stunning, Riding Hood’s cape is a richly, satin lined red velvet that looks blood red as it moves under the lights. Now, as wolf wipes the blood off his lips and dons Granny's nightgown, Red comes bouncing up the path. He slides into her bed with just seconds to spare as Red knocks on the door. A low howl emits from the stage and something isn't right. The wolf looks... Well, Red, being Red, enters her grandmother's home. She calls for her and again a low howl. But the director is a genius! Red doesn't even utter a word and the wolf jumps up and gobbles her up. Oh my, this... This is real! The wolf is looking around for another meal. He hops down. Where is the huntsman? Wait, I have a knife in my bag. I dig around and pull it out, hooking it into my belt. But he's already eaten someone on the first row and the orchestra has scattered. This was apparently not planned. Oh this is so terrible! Everyone is running and screaming! "Calm down everyone!" I shout but it is no use panic has taken hold. A candelabra has been knocked from the stage into the now empty orchestra pit. The wolf is not looking in my direction so I run to retrieve it. I heft it. It is much heavier than it looks. I swing it a couple of times, the wolf has his back to me, and I have found the balance to my weapon. I run up the aisle and whack the wolf. He is preoccupied with his next victim. I whack him again for good measure and he falls. The young girl under him is screaming and crying. I yank on her repeatedly and at last free her. She runs away, typical. I roll the wolf over and wonder if it really is like the story. Will I find a whole Granny and Red and where is that bloody huntsman? I figure it's worth a shot. I pull my knife from my belt and slam it to the hilt through bone and sinew. It's not very neat but dammit I'm not a doctor, I just played one on TV once. Sure enough, a spry granny and Red spring out! How is that possible? But who am I to question the powers that be? We lost 15 to that vicious attack. Wolf didn't eat them but he tore them to a bloody pulp! (This story was for an Honors Seminar course. I had to imitate a theatre review of Red Riding Hood. Hope you like it!) |
AuthorCollege graduate, Army vet, single mom, Husky mom, Movie lover, writer Archives
August 2022
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